


we couldn't bring the columns down, we couldn't destroy a single one

by cosmicpoet



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 23:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15423756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicpoet/pseuds/cosmicpoet
Summary: Komaeda thinks he needs to kill himself. Hinata must disagree.





	we couldn't bring the columns down, we couldn't destroy a single one

Komaeda is ready. He’s absolutely ready. This, arguably, is what he’s been waiting his whole life for; this exact moment, when the sun creeps behind a cloud, almost terrified of seeing what will happen next. Like his luck has warded off every cosmic entity, leaving him only with _himself,_ and the tough rope that he easily gives himself friction burns with.

He’s known how to tie a noose since he was sixteen. Four years of that knowledge, the tantalising bliss of knowing that the universe will one day be without him; only his body, lacking soul, swinging from the ceiling. It seems so beautiful to him, the idea of being completely empty - almost a fulfilment of his feelings for the past…forever. Although he’s told himself that hope is worth living for, since dating Hinata, he’s found that hope can and will live on without him. After all, they both lived through the various tragedies of Hope’s Peak together, and Hinata has been recovering from being Kamukura so well, it’s true that he must not need Komaeda any more. There’s another Ultimate Hope, now, since he sees the light and beauty of possibility and hope in Hinata’s eyes; he’s no longer needed.

Yes, this is the right choice.

He ties the noose. It looks perfect; so even, so beautiful. Hanging it from the ceiling rafters feels like a perfect denouement. The scene is perfect, with solitary rope not yet swinging. All the lights in the house are off, leaving Komaeda’s imminent suicide scene with an eerie glow of twilight coming through the bay window. Hinata is out for a walk - his therapist advised it - and it just provides Komaeda with the perfect excuse to slip into darkness.

_Slip._ Like one does into lies, or into perfection. His note has been written for years, revised and re-revised until each word drips like silk off the page, seeped in meaning and beauty; Hinata will get all of his inheritance, with the instruction to donate at least half to the poor and disadvantaged. Although it would be nice for Komaeda to be there himself to see the hope in the eyes of the people he will help, it’s better this way. This way, his luck can’t get in the way and end up hurting them.

And he believes it to be true that if he feels hope from making others happy, it’s not true hope. It’s greedy self-satisfaction, and he could never forgive himself for that.

No, this is perfect. He slips the rope over his neck; the rough material pulls against his skin and he savours the feeling; he imagines that it will feel as if he’s flying, not falling, over the banister. Closing his eyes, he lets the feeling of calm embrace him, before he takes the leap.

_Falling._

_Falling._

_Falling._

**_Snap._ **

The rope breaks as his body tugs at the weight of itself. Instead of feeling the simple break of his neck, or the aching wonder of suffocation, Komaeda finds himself falling an extra few feet onto the ground. Helpless. His head hits the ground a little before he does, knocking the breath out of him and sending his mind spinning into something akin to despair. He can’t focus. There’s no way he can get up and try again, although he still feels the now-torn noose around his neck. An overwhelming weight presses on him, and all he can do is sleep.

* * *

 

Hinata returns to a quiet calm. It’s not unusual, so he suspects that nothing is wrong as he hangs his winter coat up on the coat-rack, until he sees Komaeda, head jutted at a strange angle, lying on the floor. And…there’s a noose around his neck. The door is still open, but Hinata doesn’t care, as he runs to his lover and presses his ear against his chest, checking for breathing.

Oh, what luck.

Komaeda is breathing. Slowly, but the rise and fall of his chest is there, even though his head is bleeding. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Hinata calls for an ambulance, stumbling through his words about _‘my boyfriend tried to kill himself’_ and _‘hurry the fuck up!’_

He begs with his whole heart to be let inside the ambulance.

* * *

 

Komaeda wakes with his head heavy. His throat feels hoarse, despite the fact that he hasn’t spoken much at all recently. Every element of power he once had is lost. He’s hooked up to IV drips and wires that make his body feel foreign; it’s not quite alien to him, though - this isn’t the first time he’s ended up in hospital, through his own means or his luck hurting those around him. Still, he knows that there are bruises around his neck, he feels them without pressing on them.

Because, of course. Of course, he tried to kill himself. All he can focus on now is the sunlight seeping through the hospital window, casting shadows so meaningless that they don’t fall onto his bed. He wonders if his power is lost, like Samson. But his hair is still there, around his head, his only shield.

And next to him, oh god, next to him, Hinata sleeps. He looks exhausted, his hand resting on Komaeda’s bed, like it had once been grasping onto him. But everything now is separate. Still, his lover is in tune with his emotions, and Hinata wakes.

“Komaeda,” he says, heartbreak in his voice, “why?”

“I don’t w-want to…”

“It’s alright. I just need you to be here.”

How selfish. How absolutely selfish of him to leave Hinata. He yanks his hand from his side and traces his own neck, feeling exactly where the bruises are; almost as if the ghost of a noose still chokes him. And yet, he can still talk.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” he says.

“Don’t apologise,” Hinata says, firmly.

_Why did the noose break?_

Komaeda pushes his head further into the pillows.

“I’d…like some water,” he says to Hinata, pleading.

Hinata nods, leaving the room. In his absence, Komaeda feels manic, ripping every needle and IV from his arms. Sickness overcomes him, and he feels his bruises again.

Sleep, now. Sleep…but not for forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Please leave a comment if you did!


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